Wednesday, June 08, 2011

ONE-ARMED BANDIT

And no, I'm not referring to a slot machine:

Albany police seek one-handed bank robbery suspect

ALBANY -- City police on Tuesday were searching for a man who single-handedly robbed SEFCU at 16 New Scotland Ave.

Police say that a 5' 9'' white male walked into the credit union branch just after noon Tuesday and demanded money. The man did not show any weapon, nor imply that he had one, police said. A teller gave him an undisclosed amount of money, which the suspect placed in a black plastic bag, according to police.

No one was injured in the incident. Police described the suspect as missing his left arm from the elbow down, wearing a white baseball cap, oversized white T-shirt and denim shorts.

Single-handedly, get it? Those reporters are so witty. No word yet on whether Dr. Richard Kimble has been brought in as a consultant on the case.

6 comments:

Bob G. said...

John D.:
HA..!
Excellent FUGITIVE reference...
Yeah, those wacky reporters...don'cha just LOVE them (to go away)?

Good post.
Stay safe out there.

Chris said...

You'd think he'd have at least one or two other criminal buddies to give him a hand, wouldn't you?

Charlieopera said...

Crime 101: Don't get tattoos if you intend to engage in a life of crime. Worse? Don't lose an arm.

I was only arrested once after my tattoos and did I feel like a jerkoff when they took down that information. "What the hell is that on your arm there?"

"A Bills logo."

"A what?"

"A Bills logo."

"You really are a loser."

In my head I was thinking Pesci's line about what to tell the guy to go do with his mother, but I did manage to adhere to Crime 102: "When in custody, don't be a bigger jerkoff than getting arrested with tattoos."

John D. said...

Bob,
I'm sure they'll get funnier as I get drunker.

Chris,
I guess his friends wouldn't give him a whole hand. Maybe they just offered him the finger.

Charlie,
Dude, that had me rolling on the floor, laughing my ass off. I think that anecdote ought to show up in your next novel.

LC Aggie Sith said...

Ok, that's it.

I'm buying one of Charlie's books pronto ;)

John D. said...

Aggie,
You might want to try Charlie's latest, Johnny Porno. I think you'll enjoy it.