I'M DREAMING OF A GREEN NEW YEAR'S

Looks like I'm gonna be disappointed. Guess I should be used to that by now. It looks worse on radar than it is. It did come in pretty hard and fast, but we didn't get buried. It just made the drive in to work a pain. The positraction on my car got a workout this morning, anyway. At least I have no New Year's Eve plans for the weather to ruin. I'll probably just hang out at home, watch DVDs and down a few Coronas. And eat junk food, can't forget that. So how about you folks, anybody doing anything exciting to welcome the New Year?

OUCH!

So, how does an 88 year old woman fend off a naked intruder? Why that's easy, she grabs him by the crotch and squeezes. Moron probably asked her for a little reacharound. Heh. Serves him right. I hope he was still singing soprano when they booked him into the county jail.

THIS DAY IN CRIME HISTORY: DECEMBER 30, 1977

On this date in 1977, serial killer Ted Bundy escaped from the jail in Glenwood Springs, CO. His jailers didn't notice that he was missing until noon the next day, seventeen hours after he had escaped. By this time, he was already in Chicago, IL. Bundy went on to attack six more women, three of whom died, before he was rearrested by Florida police in February 2008.

Wikipedia - Ted Bundy

FBI File - Theodore Robert Bundy

truTV - Ted Bundy, notorious serial killer

THIS DAY IN CRIME HISTORY: DECEMBER 30, 1905

On this date in 1905, former Idaho Governor Frank Steunenberg was killed by a bomb that was rigged to a gate at his home. While Governor, Steunenberg took a tough stand against the Western Federation of Miners during a period of labor unrest. Former WFM member Albert Horsley (a/k/a Harry Orchard) was arrested for the crime. Legendary Pinkerton detective James McParland headed up the investigation. McParland pressured Horsley into implicating three high-ranking WFM officials as co-conspirators. Horsley was ultimately convicted of Steunenberg's murder, but his testimony against the other men was discredited. Two of them were acquitted at trial, and charges were dropped against the third. Albert Horsley was sentenced to death by the court, but the sentence was later commuted to life in prison. He died in prison in 1954 at the age of 87.

Further reading:

Wikipedia - Frank Steunenberg 

Wikipedia - Albert Horsley 

Find a Grave - Frank Steunenberg 

THIS DAY IN CRIME HISTORY: DECEMBER 29, 1975

On this date in 1975, a bomb was detonated in a baggage claim area at New York's LaGuardia Airport. Eleven people were killed and seventy-five were injured. The identity(ies) of the bomber(s), and the motive for the bombing, were never discovered. The case remains unsolved to this day.

Further reading:

New York Times - Terrorist's Release Reopens Wound of Unsolved Bombing 

FRIDAY MOVIE QUOTE

"Where do you think you're going? Nobody's leaving. Nobody's walking out on this fun, old-fashioned family Christmas. No, no. We're all in this together. This is a full-blown, four-alarm holiday emergency here. We're gonna press on, and we're gonna have the hap, hap, happiest Christmas since Bing Crosby tap-danced with Danny fucking Kaye. And when Santa squeezes his fat white ass down that chimney tonight, he's gonna find the jolliest bunch of assholes this side of the nuthouse."

-Clark Griswold (Chevy Chase), Christmas Vacation (1989)

MERRY CHRISTMAS

A GREAT LAST-MINUTE GIFT IDEA

Hey ladies, if you're still stressing about a Christmas gift for the man in your life (or any man, for that matter - including me, if you're so inclined), check this out: There's a 1975 Ford Gran Torino for sale on Ebay that was used in the TV show Starsky & Hutch. The auction ends at 10 PM PST on Friday. The current high bid is $20k. Sure, it'll be a little late for Christmas. But what man in his right mind would complain about getting his gift late when he finds the keys to a car like this in his stocking?

THE GREATEST PRESENT EVER... NOT!

OK, I'm as big a Grinch as the next guy, but this is just cruel. Would have served 'em right if that kid had gone and gotten his Red Ryder B-B gun and shot each and every one of them right in the ass.

h/t: Drudge 

BURNIN' DOWN THE HOUSE

A man in New Bedford, MA was using a blowtorch to melt the ice on his back porch Monday when he set his house on fire. The fire caused about thrity thousand dollars in damage. Here's a link to the story on the Albany Times Union website. What do you want to bet that the company that made the blowtorch neglected to put a warning label on it. I mean, how was this guy supposed to know that a blowtorch could set wood on fire? I think he ought to sue.

BABE OF THE WEEK

This week's babe is a hot Russian girl with a really large... vocabulary. Marina Orlova hosts the Hot For Words website. She also has her own Youtube channel. So go check it out, and expand you lexicon.

SPAMALANCHE!

Here are some of the more interesting subject lines from the emails in my spam filter today:

"Present forr you"
Forr me? Reallly?

"She likes me HUGE even though it hurts"
You're damn right it hurts, and she can barely breathe. Trust me pal, she does NOT like you huge. Now go on a frickin' diet, for crying out loud!

"Don't come, let's cancel it"
Otherwise known as Coitus Interruptus.

"Available positions for 2009"
And speaking of coitus...

"OK, here is my answer"
Actually, I don't recall asking the question.

"Swiss branded watches from $2"
Cool, I can wear one while I'm driving my $29 Ferrari.

"Oprah Winfrey's No. 1 Superfood"
From what I hear, these days it's donuts.

"Your powerful uprise will excite women"
Powerful uprisings tend to do that.

"Santa will give you a longer pecker"
Really? Will he leave it under my Christmas tree, or will he put it in my stocking? Will it even fit in my stocking? I mean, exactly how long we talkin' about here?

FRIDAY MOVIE QUOTE

"We see our role as essentially defensive in nature. While our armies are advancing so fast and everyone's knocking themselves out to be heroes, we are holding ourselves in reserve in case the Krauts mount a counteroffensive which threatens Paris... or maybe even New York. Then we can move in and stop them. But for 1.6 million dollars, we could become heroes for three days."

-Oddball (Donald Sutherland), Kelly's Heroes  (1970)

A FACE ONLY A MOTHER COULD LOVE

Hey kids, the Smoking Gun website has its best mug shots of 2008 posted. So, if you haven't checked them out already, click on over and have a laugh. The guy in the pic above is one of my personal favs, by the way.

2008 Mug Shots of the Year 

THIS DAY IN CRIME HISTORY: DECEMBER 18, 1931

On this date in 1931, gangster Dutch Schultz finally got his wish. "Ain't there nobody that can shoot this guy so he don't bounce back?" Dutch once asked about his rival, Jack "Legs Diamond" Moran. Old Legs, whose other nickname was "Clay Pigeon," had this annoying habit of surviving assassination attempts.

By 1931, Legs had moved upstate to start bootlegging and narcotics operations. He spent the night of December 17th partying in Albany, after having just been acquitted in a kidnapping trial. He left his girlfriend, showgirl Marion "Kiki" Roberts around 11 PM, and went back to the boarding house on Dove Street, where he had been staying. Around 5:30 AM, two men entered the boarding house, went to the second floor room where Diamond was sleeping it off, shot him in the head multiple times and fled the house.

The murder of Legs Diamond remains unsolved, but there were multiple theories about who was responsible. Dutch Schulz was an obvious choice. Lucky Luciano was another likely candidate. Some think it was local Albany thugs. My personal favorite is that the hit on Legs was ordered by Dan O'Connell, the head of the notorious Albany Democratic Machine. The Machine not only controlled politics in Albany, they also ran the local rackets. And they weren't open to the idea of competition. This being the case, the hit may have been carried out by members of the Albany Police Department. But I guess we'll never know.

The picture below is of the house at 67 Dove Street in Albany, where Legs Diamond was killed. It now belongs to author William Kennedy.


Here's a video of a 1931 newsreel interview with Marion "Kiki" Roberts, Legs Diamond's girlfriend, conducted shortly after his death. Kiki kinda sounds like she's reading her answers off cue cards.

I don't know about you, but I found the kiss at the end just a little bit creepy.


Further reading:

Wikipedia - Jack Diamond (gangster)

Gangster City - Jack "Legs" Diamond

Albany Times Union - Mobster's 1931 murder remains unsolved

FILE THIS ONE UNDER "MOST SATISFACTORY"

My younger daughter, who is 13 years old, will be starting high school next year. She's been taking entrance exams for some of the local private schools. We got news today that on one of the tests, she had a high enough score to qualify for a scholarship that amounts to $20k, over four years. Since this is for the school that was our first choice, we're in a very happy place right now. Very happy. Damn, she's a smart kid. Must've been a mixup at the hospital, or something.

THIS DAY IN CRIME HISTORY: DECEMBER 16, 1937

On this day in 1937, Theodore Cole and Ralph Roe decided they needed a change of scenery. The two Oklahomans were inmates at the infamous federal prison on Alcatraz Island. Over a long period of time, they had filed through the bars on one of the windows in the prison mat shop, where they worked. They waited for a stormy day, when the guards in the towers would be less likely to see them leave the prison. When the time was right, they crawled through the window and disappeared. When prison officials discovered that the men were missing, they conducted an exhaustive search of the island, but there was no sign of the two men. It's believed that the men tried to swim to shore using empty five gallon oil cans as floatation devices, and that the current - stronger than usual due to the storm - carried them out to sea, where they drowned.

Further reading:

Wikipedia - Alcatraz Escape Attempts

OKLAHOMA GUNMEN VANISHED FROM ALCATRAZ

Alcatraz History - Escape Attempts

THIS DAY IN CRIME HISTORY: DECEMBER 16, 1985

On this date in 1985, Gambino crime family boss Paul Castellano and his underboss/bodyguard Thomas Bilotti, were shot dead outside Sparks Steak House in Manhattan. The hit was reportedly carried out at the order of John Gotti, a captain in the Gambino family. Following Castellano's death, Gotti would take over as the family's teflon-covered boss. The teflon wore off in 1992, when Gotti was convicted of thirteen counts of murder, including those of Paul Castellano and Thomas Bilotti.

Further reading:

Wikipedia - Paul Castellano 

Gangsters, Inc. - John Gotti 

Sparks Steak House 

BABE OF THE WEEK

This week's babe is France's first lady, Carla Bruni. Apparently, her nude image adorns bags being sold on the Indian Ocean Island of Reunion, and she's filed a lawsuit to halt the sale of the bags. I guess if you want one, you'd better catch a flight to Reunion and get one while you can.

BETTIE PAGE, RIP

A little while ago, I read that 1950s pinup queen Bettie Page died yesterday at the age of 85. Sad news, for sure. It dawned on me that I'd never featured Bettie as a Nobody Move! Babe of the Week, or posted any of her pictures here; an error I figured I'd better rectify right now. You can see more of Bettie Page at her website, but be forewarned, it's not work-safe. Not that it's blatantly pornographic, but if your employer uses internet filtering, you may want to wait until you get home to check it out. That being said, here's the link.

FRIDAY MOVIE QUOTE

"Has the whole world gone crazy? Am I the only one around here who gives a shit about the rules? Mark it zero!"

-Walter Sobchak (John Goodman), The Big Lebowski (1998)

SOMETHING WICKED THIS WAY COMES

Rumor has it there's a storm heading our way. Not liking it, not liking it one bit. I haven't shoveled snow in about two years. I don't know if I'll remember how. I may have to send the wife out to do it. Heh.

THIS DAY IN CRIME HISTORY: DECEMBER 11, 1985

On this date in 1985, Hugh Scrutton, a computer store owner in Sacramento, CA was killed when a bomb loaded with nails and splinters exploded in the parking lot of his store. Scrutton was the ninth victim, and first fatality, in the 17 year bombing spree of the man who turned out to be the nuttiest of nutty professors: Ted Kaczynski, a.k.a. the Unabomber. By the time he was arrested in 1994, Kaczynski had planted sixteen bombs. Two of the bombs were defused before they could explode. The other fourteen bombs killed three and injured eleven. He is currently serving a life sentence (without the possibility of parole) in federal prison.

Further reading:

Wikipedia - Theodore Kaczynski 

truTV - Ted Kaczynski: The Unabomber 

FBI - The Unabomber 

The Unabomber's Manifesto 

TIME MARCHES ON... AND ON... AND ON

Effective today, I am officially one year older, making me (gulp) 45 years old (hence the .45 pistol in the photo above). Seems like only yesterday I was in college. Time flies when you're alive. Getting older sucks, but I guess it beats the alternative. I have no special birthday plans. Maybe I'll order a pizza tonight or something. I called in sick today, not because it's my birthday, but because I really feel like crap. I was up coughing all night. The extra couple hours of sleep I got this morning helped a bit. If I lay low all day and keep taking decongestants, I may be back up to snuff tomorrow. In the meantime, I have a good excuse to lie around all day, watch videos and read. And surf the net. I'm way behind on my net surfin'.

BABE OF THE WEEK

This week's babe is the personification of "Geek Chic...in overdrive." Julia Ling plays Buy More nerdette Anna Wu in Chuck. You can see more of her at It's Lingtime!!, the Julia Ling website.

FRIDAY MOVIE QUOTE

"I know what you're thinking. 'Did he fire six shots or only five?' Well, to tell you the truth, in all this excitement I kind of lost track myself. But being as this is a .44 Magnum, the most powerful handgun in the world, and would blow your head clean off, you've got to ask yourself one question: Do I feel lucky? Well, do ya, punk?"

-Inspector Harry Callahan (Clint Eastwood), Dirty Harry (1971)

THIS DAY IN CRIME HISTORY: DECEMBER 4, 1875

On this date in 1875, William "Boss" Tweed, former head of the Democratic machine in New York City, escaped from jail and fled to Cuba. Tweed was facing hard time for his role in fleecing New York taxpayers of millions of dollars (some estimates run as high as $200 million). Almost captured in Cuba, Tweed moved on to Spain. He was arrested there in 1876 by a police officer who reportedly recognized him from a political cartoon by cartoonist Thomas Nast. He was returned to the United States by Spanish authorities. He died in the Ludlow Street Jail of pneumonia in 1878.

Further reading:

Wikipedia - William M. Tweed 

Virginia Western Community College - Boss Tweed 

OSU - Thomas Nast 

William Boss Tweed Cartoons 

MEME - AUTHORS (NEW TO ME)

I've tagged myself with this meme I saw at Patrick Shawn Bagley's blog. Here are the rules:

1. List the authors you read during 2008 that were new to you (that is, authors you read for the first time this year).
2. Bold those who were debut authors in 2008.
3. Tag some other people.

So here they are:

Anthony Neil Smith
Cormac McCarthy
David Morrell
Christa Faust
David Wellington
Patrick Downey

Not many, I know. But it's a lot for me. I tend to stick to a small list of authors, many of whom (fortunately) are very prolific. I won't tag anyone. But if you feel the urge, go for it.

THIS DAY IN CRIME HISTORY: DECEMBER 2, 1993

On this date in 1993, Medellin Cartel boss Pablo Escobar was shot and killed by Colombian police. Escobar, who had been doing less-than-hard time in a luxury prison, busted out when he found out he was being moved to a prison without a hot tub. I guess having enemies brought to the prison so he could torture and murder them was more than the Colombian government was willing to tolerate. Wonders never cease. After Pablo went on the run, the Colombian police formed a special unit called the Search Bloc. The Search Bloc was tasked with only one mission: get Pablo. Which they did. With a little help from US military and intel types.


Further reading:

Pablo Escobar - The Medellin Cartel

Wikipedia - Pablo Escobar

Killing Pablo, by Mark Bowden

BABE OF THE WEEK

This week's babe is actress Missy Peregrym. She currently stars in a series called Reaper, which I had not heard of until I read about it on Gerald So's blog today. It sounds pretty cool. I'm gonna have to check it out sometime.

THIS DAY IN CRIME HISTORY: DECEMBER 1, 1884

On this date in 1844, 19 year old Elfego Baca, a self-appointed lawman, found himself in a shootout in Lower San Francisco Plaza (now Reserve), NM with over 80 cowboys. The incident began when Baca arrested a drunken cowboy for disorderly conduct - if you'd call walking (or was it staggering?) down the street firing a pistol into buildings "disorderly." Anyway, the cowboy's buddies didn't appreciate the arrest and demanded Baca release him. Baca refused, but the cowboys wouldn't take no for an answer. As a crowd gathered, Baca took refuge in the house of Geronimo Armijo, a local resident. About 80 cowboys surrounded the house. During the course of the siege, they tried setting the roof on fire (wouldn't catch), dynamiting a corner of the house (didn't work), and firing around 4,000 rounds at the house. They gave up 36 hours later, when they ran out of ammo. Baca emerged from the house unscathed. During the shootout, he killed four of the cowboys and wounded eight. His prisoner eventually stood trial and was convicted. Baca himself was indicted for the murder of the cowboys. The door to the house was admitted as evidence during the trial. Once the jury saw the 400 bullet holes in the door, they voted to acquit. Baca went on to become a Deputy US Marshal and an attorney. He died in 1945 at the age of 80.

Further reading:

Wikipedia: Elfego Baca - http://tinyurl.com/5zwjuv 

Elfego Baca and the Cowboys - http://tinyurl.com/63x9c9 

Elfego Baca & the "Frisco War" - http://tinyurl.com/67wdzr