File this one under "you can't make this shit up." From my hometown fish-wrapper, the Albany Times Union, comes the story of Schenectady, NY burglar Gregory Barnes:
A Schenectady County Court jury convicted Barnes, 50, of burglary and menacing charges Tuesday before visiting Judge Richard Giardino. Prosecutors said Barnes broke into his sister-in-law's James Street home and attacked her with a screwdriver in March 2007. At the time, he was high on crack cocaine and incensed at the woman for cutting him off from family activities, Assistant District Attorney Anne Bair said.
A few weeks before the trial started, Barnes presented an alibi to his lawyer, public defender Kent Gebert. Barnes gave Gebert a picture of a man he contended was responsible for the crimes against his sister-in-law and gave the man's name as Wayne Heittleman, Gebert said. That photo was used as an exhibit to bolster the case.
Not just a name, but a picture too. Sounds good, right? But wait, there's more:
As luck would have it, Cathy Dobies, who works in the district attorney's office, saw the photo in a picture frame while browsing in the Glenville Wal-Mart where her son works.
Gebert said he was "thoroughly ticked off" and that Barnes sheepishly gazed down when he realized the prosecution had refuted his story and had the picture frame to prove it.
After a two-week trial, Barnes was found guilty of three counts of first-degree burglary, a count of second-degree burglary, both felonies; three counts of menacing and one count of criminal mischief, both misdemeanors; and a harassment violation.
Barnes' attempted ruse was "something out of the movies," Bair said.
Movies? What movies? Dumb and Dumber? The Jerk? The beauty of this is that it's a twofer; a stupid crook trick, and a stupid lawyer trick. Too bad we couldn't have worked in a stupid politician trick for the trifecta. Maybe next time.
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